Battousai's Day Off
by aurora-san
Summary: Battousai is tired of being bossed around by Kenshin, so he decides to move out. What better place to become his new home than the dojo inhabitant's minds? One shotComplete. Pls. review.


**Author's Note**: This is collaboration, so credit goes to two people. I hope you have as much fun reading this as we had writing it. –Aurora-san

"**Battousai's Day Off"**

'Come _on_, you annoying imbecile,' Battousai threatened Kenshin Himura, as the redheaded rurouni went about his daily chores. At that precise moment, he was sweeping the dojo walkway, and _trying_ to ignore the extra personality of Battousai the Manslayer that he had to contend with every day of his life. '_Do_ something! Go and kill that twit Aoshi Shinamori, why don't you...? Or, I _know_! Go find that fathead, Saitou, and finish that duel you started with him... When was it again? Oh, I don't know-- _forever_ ago!'

Kenshin, who had been humming to himself up to this point, raised the volume of his voice, started singing outright, and began sweeping at a faster and almost frantic pace. 'Helloooo, in there...!' Battousai grated. 'I'm _bored_, and _you_ are boring! Don't you ever do anything but menial tasks, and spout idealistic jargon to common criminals? It just makes me want to _scream_!' There was the sense of a wicked chuckle, and then Battousai said, slowly and with mischief, 'Perhaps I _will_...'

Kenshin blinked and squawked, "Oroo?" then protested, 'No!' Then a bit ashamed at his cowardly reaction continued, 'Why don't you just go away? I've told you time and again that I do not ever wish to kill anymore, that I do not.' He swept at grooves in the walkway viciously, and Battousai said, 'Maybe I _will _go away, then.'

Kenshin raised a brow. The thought of the Battousai personality leaving was altogether appealing; however, he decided that it was also completely impossible. He smiled to himself to show this and replied, 'Go away then, if you wish. _I _would not make a move to stop you, that I would not.' Battousai was startled into complete silence for a moment, then that mischievous feeling returned, and he said, 'Very well, Himura. I shall not be speaking to you again...' And then as surprise took over Kenshin, the sense of the Manslayer seemed to...was it possible? He'd left... He'd actually left!

'But where did he go?' Kenshin wondered, glancing around in panicked bemusement. He spotted Kaoru practicing lunges with Yahiko off to his right a little ways, and Sanosuke idling on the deck of the dojo with a fishbone hanging loosely from his lips. Megumi sat on the porch, too, playing some game with Ayame and Suzume. Kenshin glanced back at Kaoru and Yahiko again, still feeling bewildered and strangely bereft.

Just then, Kaoru stopped in mid lunge, and looked toward him with a broad smile. Kenshin's eyes widened at that look, because, not only was she smiling, her usually dark-blue eyes had changed to a livid gold. Kenshin swallowed and thought, 'Oh, no...' Because suddenly he knew where the Battousai personality had gone to... And he didn't like it one bit.

----------------

Kaoru was practicing lunges with Yahiko when it happened. One moment she was counting, the next a strangely familiar voice suggested, 'Why don't you smile at Kenshin? He looks a little tired, and deserves some encouragement for all his hard work, don't you think?' She glanced over to where she'd noticed Kenshin sweeping the walkway earlier, and saw him looking her way with a puzzled expression. She smiled at him, and his light-violet eyes widened for a moment.

'Now why would he react like _that_?' Kaoru asked herself, not really expecting an answer. Despite that, the familiar voice replied, 'Because he knows I've come over to stay with _you_ now.' Kaoru blinked. That was strange... She could almost swear that wasn't _her_ thought, and it was just such a weird one that she instantly thought of demons, and found herself shivering. 'Hah, hah,' the voice laughed. 'Close, very close... People always thought I looked like an amber-eyed demon, or so I've heard.' The voice was dry, and somehow cold, and now Kaoru knew why it was so familiar. 'It's Kenshin's voice!'

'Not quite, you see, I'm the _other_ Kenshin. The Hitokiri Battousai...Famous assassin of the Meiji Revolution, master of the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu, yada, yada...' the voice bragged lazily.

'B-but...h-how did you g-get in my h-head?' Kaoru asked, fearfully, up until this point unaware that she was able to stammer only in her thoughts.

'Well, it's quite simple. You see--' the Battousai began to explain, but just then Yahiko's irritated voice intruded upon Kaoru's thoughts.

"Hey, Ugly, what are you doing just standing there drooling?" Yahiko stood with his fist planted on his hip and his bokken supported over the back of his shoulders. His thick black eyebrow twitched slightly in annoyance as he continued, "If you're going to drag me out here to practice, you should at least get a workout along with me."

Kaoru's own eyebrow began to twitch, and the Battousai said, 'Oh, are you going to let the little brat talk to you like that? He practically called you fat, after all...' Kaoru growled aloud, "You'd better take that back, Yahiko!"

"Whoa, Ugly, I didn't mean it like that!" Yahiko protested holding up his hand, attempting to appease her.

'No, Kaoru,' the Battousai said languidly, 'He interrupted our conversation, and he was just downright rude. I really don't think he should get away with that. Do you?' Kaoru glared at Yahiko. 'No I don't,' she agreed, and the Battousai laughed with pleasure. 'So, why don't you use one of _my_ techniques on him?' Kaoru blinked stupidly. 'I couldn't do _that_... I might hurt him!'

"Uhm, Kaoru..." Yahiko said. "You're doing that drooling thing again." He waved his hand in front of her face, and she jumped then glared. 'Maybe it would be nice to get him really good for a change,' she decided, and as soon as she did, something seemed to take control of her body. She switched into a familiar stance, one foot placed slightly behind the other, bokken raised. She heard herself say, just as she jumped toward a wide-eyed Yahiko, "Hiten Misturugi style, Ryushosan!"

Her bokken struck home on Yahiko's hard spiky head, and the boy went down with a bewildered groan. Kaoru felt control return to her body, and she blinked down at Yahiko. "Oops..." she said, and Battousai chuckled a bit. 'Oh, this really can't be good...' she thought, and realized that it had been a terrible idea to listen to anything that the _Battousai_ wanted her to do.

Sano and Megumi came running from the direction of the porch along with the girls. Kenshin was nearly at her side. When they reached her, Megumi checked on Yahiko, and Sano and Kenshin stood staring at her.

"What?" she protested loudly and guiltily.

"Man, Missy," Sano answered. "Wasn't that one of _Kenshin's_ attacks? And I could swear, for a second there, I thought I saw your eyes turn gold!"

"N-not possible," Kaoru stuttered, but she knew that it was quite. 'Oh, no! You evil, evil demon! What did you make me do?'

'_I_ didn't _make_ you do it,' Battousai argued smoothly. 'I only helped you do what you already wanted to in the first place.' Kaoru protested, 'You liar! And to think poor Kenshin has to deal with you every day!'

"He'll be fine," Megumi said looking up at Kaoru with concern. "He's just a little dazed... It's you I'm a little worried about, Kaoru. Maybe you're too stressed or something. I've never seen you lose your temper like _that_ before."

Suzume said, "Us neither, Aunt Megumi." Ayame repeated, "Yeah, us neither!" They shook their heads with innocently serious expressions, and Kaoru felt all the more guilty.

She laughed and agreed nervously, "Heh, maybe you're right." Yahiko seemed to be coming around just then. He groaned and sat up, and then eyed Kaoru with painfully squinting brown eyes.

"Man, Kaoru, I wasn't expecting _that_. What got into you anyway?" He rubbed the crown of his head and moaned a little.

'Heh, fancy his words,' the Battousai said with amusement, and Kaoru nearly groaned herself. "I'm probably just stressed out, or something, like Megumi says... I'm really sorry, Yahiko... Uhm... Maybe I'd just better go inside and take a nap or something..." She glanced around at all their staring faces. Her eyes landed on Kenshin's especially bewildered look, and she blushed and panicked and turned and ran into the dojo.

'Smooth, Kaoru, very smooth,' the Battousai told her sarcastically, and she snapped aloud, "And what would you know?" He seemed to shrug mentally, and she looked about her, feeling at a loss.

'Looking for something to do?' the Battousai wondered. 'Why?' Kaoru grouched at him, and he suggested, 'Maybe you should make something for lunch.'

Kaoru blinked. This was the _last_ thing she expected the famous Battousai the Manslayer to suggest to her. She laughed aloud, and to the Battousai's consternation, for a very long time. 'What's so funny? I can cook, even if you can't!'

Kaoru was no longer amused. 'Just shut up, you big bully. I'll show you that I can cook!' She stomped into the kitchen and started pulling out pots and pans and other cooking utensils. 'And what are you going to make?' Battousai wondered dryly.

Kaoru muttered to herself for a moment about annoying people who should have _remained_ back in the Meiji Revolution, and told him. 'Miso soup... And maybe some rice balls for desert.' The Battousai practically chortled. 'I remember the last time you cooked Miso soup... "Poor Kenshin" nearly choked on it...' Kaoru scowled at nothing for a moment, then retorted, 'And I'm sure _you_ can do better?'

'Yes, I can... And I will. Just do as I say, and you won't go wrong. And as Kenshin likes to say, "That you won't."' Kaoru sighed and relented. She supposed it wouldn't hurt this time to listen to the Battousai. After all, what could go wrong when all she was doing was cooking?

--------------

The soup bubbled gently, and the Battousai commanded, 'Now put some salt in it...' Kaoru found the saltshaker and began to generously pour the salt into the soup. 'No! You imbecile! Not that much, do you want to kill everyone?' Kaoru desisted with the pouring immediately and grumbled. 'I was just doing what you said.'

'Fine, whatever,' he said, 'Now some herbs and spices.' Kaoru got the herbs and spices that he'd already told her to put out in handy reach for when she needed them. _They_ were already measured out, as the Battousai had directed. 'Boy is he a bossy one,' she thought, hoping he would hear it.

'Pot calling the kettle black, don't you think?' he retorted, and she questioned while jerkily dumping herbs into the soup, 'And what do you mean by that?'

'Oh, just that your poor Kenshin does most of the housework... And everyone else always seems to be getting one order or another from you,' he said calculatedly.

Kaoru stirred the soup angrily and growled mentally, 'You're just saying that, you jerk.' He seemed to shake an invisible head. 'No, I'm not... Truthfully, Kaoru, you can get a little pushy.'

Kaoru blinked with surprise. He actually sounded honest and serious at that moment. She blinked back sudden tears, and he questioned, 'What are you crying for! Don't do that, woman! I will not stand for this sort of behavior. I'm a cold-blooded murderer, and I detest the...the sight and feeling of tears.' He groaned as her eyes watered and spilled over onto her face and down to drip off of her chin. 'Oh, don't... I'm sorry... Okay? Are you happy?'

'No,' Kaoru answered sullenly, and he said, 'What is it with you women, anyway?' A bit of mischief seemed to come over him. 'Maybe I should see, eh? Take a look at the innermost thoughts of a woman to find what they're all about?' Kaoru stiffened. 'You wouldn't dare!'

'Oh, wouldn't I? I wonder, Kaoru dear, do you like Kenshin? Well, I suppose I shall find out.' She could almost hear his grin. 'No!' she protested helplessly, but then something very strange happened. She heard a very Battousai-like sounding yelp, and then there was a complete stillness in her mind.

'Battousai?' she wondered, and was answered a moment later by a groan. 'Oh, that hurt... What have you got around your brain, girl? It felt like a brick wall...' He moaned again, and Kaoru snickered aloud. She stirred the soup some more, and this seemed to rouse Battousai out of his slight daze. 'Hey, there. You can take that off of the brazier now, girl,' he told her, and she complied.

'Now for the rice balls,' Battousai said almost cheerfully, and Kaoru, amused by the thought, said, 'If I didn't know better, I'd think you were actually enjoying this.' Strangely, her comment was met with total silence.

----------------

Sanosuke lumbered toward the kitchen, and sniffed the air suspiciously. It _smelled_ like something good was being made. But knowing Kaoru, that was just a fog of deception for something horrifyingly disastrous. He snorted to himself with irony and called out, "Hey, Kaoru, is it okay if I come in?" He didn't want to take any chances after her earlier reaction to Yahiko's innocent teasing.

"Come in, Sano!" she called back, and he cautiously went in. He found her putting together some rice balls, and he looked at them askance. "You okay, Missy? You kind of overreacted earlier, and Megumi wanted me to talk to you," he questioned her hesitantly.

She looked up at him with surprise, her mouth making a little "o", and her hands frozen in their movements. Then she seemed to shake herself, smiled and told him, "I'm fine, Sano, but thanks for asking." He frowned. "Well, if you're sure..." She nodded, and he smiled back.

Suddenly his stomach growled, and he decided those rice balls didn't look so dubious after all. He leaned over toward the little table, reaching for one, and Kaoru immediately smacked at his hand, then a moment later something strange occurred. He felt... a presence... pass from Kaoru and into him.

He jerked upright, and questioned, "What the heck...?" And someone or something answered him, while Kaoru gasped and stared at him with worried indigo eyes. 'Hello, Sanosuke Sagara. I've always wondered what could be going on inside of _your_ brain, considering how stupid you seem, and yet still manage to fight brilliantly."

Somehow that chilling voice was completely familiar... On a number of occasions, he'd heard it speaking; he was sure. But when? 'Think fights, numbskull, and you'll have your answer,' the voice informed him dryly. Fights? Was it someone he had fought with? 'Exactly,' he heard it answer, and he winced, and clutched at his head.

"Kaoru, I think I'm going crazy!" he told his friend, and she exclaimed, "Oh, no! Battousai, get out of Sano's head!"

"Battousai?" Sanosuke exclaimed with horror, his fear having been realized. 'Yes, moron. I should have stayed with Kaoru, she was much more entertaining. I can see that all I'm going to get out of you is an addition to my height.' The Battousai gloated, 'By the way, have you _noticed_ how tall I am? Why don't you tell everyone, Sano?'

"What?" Sano asked blankly, and Kaoru took him by the arm and asked, "Is he talking to you, Sano? Is he telling you to do things?" Sano shook his head back and forth in confusion, and the Battousai commanded, 'Tell her how very tall you are, why don't you?'

"I'm tall?" Sano said, scowling as if he were trying to listen to two conversations at the same time. Kaoru wondered, "What?"

'She wants to know what, so just go ahead and tell her that you're tall, and strong, and tall, and strong... Hmmm, I think I like this... Why don't you go outside and run around for a bit? I'll bet you can run pretty fast, being tall and all...' Sano groaned and clutched at his spiky hair. 'Go away! I don't want to be possessed by an evil demon...!'

'Bah! Why does everyone think I'm a demon?' Battousai wondered. 'It must be the eyes, but seriously, that has nothing to do with being a demon. It's just the fighting spirit--' he paused, 'Maybe that's a bad phrasing...'

"Lalalala," Sanosuke began to sing aloud, plugging his ears with his index fingers. "I'm not listening..."

Meanwhile, Kaoru said to herself, "Maybe I should get someone... But should I get Megumi, or Kenshin?" Megumi was a doctor, but Kenshin knew Battousai the best...

While she contemplated this, Battousai suggested to Sano, 'Now go tell Megumi how tall and strong you are, Sano. Or... actually, I'm not sure what. Just do as I say, for I am the great Battousai the Manslayer of the Meiji Revolution! And I will kill you by your own hand if you do not!'

Sano whimpered and walked outside, and Kaoru saw his eyes change to a glowing amber. She yelped and decided now would be a good time to serve lunch. After all, she could keep an eye on Sano _and_ the Battousai that way.

----------------

The Battousai was nauseatingly happy to be in a body taller than Kenshin's, for once. All his life, people had been teasing him about his height... Worst of all, none of his opponents ever took him seriously until he struck, and by then it was too late for them to grovel with fear, let alone to be intimidated by him. If it weren't for the notorious reputation of his golden eyes and lightning speed... And yet, some _fools_ always had to dare to make fun of him. _Look how cute he is, _they taunted. _He thinks he's going to fight us, _they said. Well he'd dared to, and he had, and look at him now--in the body of Sanosuke Sagara, most notorious street-fighter around, and also just about the tallest and strongest guy you could come across. Six feet was tall, but heck, Sano was _taller_ than six feet... Battousai was, practically, in heaven. And, by Kami-sama, he was going to gloat over every second of it.

---------------

Megumi had walked the girls home a little while ago, and returned to see if Sano had found out what was wrong with Kaoru or not. 'Probably not,' she decided. 'That pea-brain can't do anything right...' She smirked and entered the gate of the dojo and walked down the path. She noticed Kenshin had finally stopped his incessant sweeping, and was sitting on the porch, and was looking up at Sanosuke, who seemed to be informing him of something rather loudly.

As she reached the porch, she heard his proud words, "So you see, I'm very tall, don't you think?" His eyes were glowing gold, and Kenshin seemed to be a bit frightened, but, a credit to him, he nodded his red head and replied, "Yes, Sano, very tall, that you are. Would you like to sit down?"

"No, I don't think so," Sano answered. "I'll just tell Megumi now. Hey, Megumi, don't I look extra tall and strong to you, now?"

"Uhm, Rooster-Head, what in the world are you talking about? Everyone _knows_ that you're tall..." Just then, Kaoru came out of the dojo carrying food, which she placed in front of Kenshin and handed to Sano. "I'll be right back with a bowl for you, Megumi," she said politely, and went scurrying back into the house.

Megumi wondered to herself, 'Has the whole world gone mad?' Kaoru was hardly _ever_ polite to her. And... Was it just the strange circumstances, or were Sano and Kenshin actually _enjoying_ the soup? It was hard to tell with Kenshin nervously shoveling the stuff into his mouth like that, but Sano looked as if he were smiling happily enough. 'Those eyes, though...' Megumi thought, and tried to remember where she'd seen eyes like that before and at the same time, trying to repress a strange shiver. 'Does he have some strange fever or something?'

Yahiko came running up to the porch from the wash-room, his hair momentarily tame from still being damp. He said, "So, what's for dinner?" as he plopped himself down next to Kenshin. Megumi remained standing, deciding that it wasn't a good idea to sit _under_ Sano while he was looking like a madman.

"Miso soup," Kenshin told Yahiko with a quavering voice. Yahiko whipped his head around, looking back and forth at the small group. "What's going on?" he wondered, and Sano replied, "I'm tall, that's what." That was when Yahiko must have noticed the golden eyes. "Whoa, Sanosuke, you look like..." and then he trailed off and mumbled something incoherent under his breath.

When Kaoru returned with bowls for Megumi and Yahiko, he took his and began slurping it down just as nervously and as quickly as Kenshin was doing. Megumi tasted her soup, and blinked with utter shock. 'Oh, my goodness. This is delicious...!' Kaoru returned with her own bowl and stood next to Sanosuke's elbow eating it with surreptitious glances cast in his direction every now and then.

"Err, Kaoru," Megumi said, "When did you get to cook so well?"

Kaoru stared at her blankly for a moment then laughed nervously and replied, "Oh, I guess I finally just got the hang of it, that's all." She laughed some more and practically buried her face in the soup. Kaoru sweat-dropped.

Megumi asked Sano, "Are you enjoying your meal, Sano?" He looked up at her with those uncanny gold eyes, and said with a pleasant smile that was very unlike him, "Yes, Megumi, and do you know why?"

She felt as if responding was _not_ a good idea, but couldn't stop herself, "Why, Sano?"

"Because I'm tall, that's why," he answered matter-of-factly, and drank the rest of his soup down. Yahiko choked and spluttered just then, and Kenshin asked in concern, "Are you alright, Yahiko?" while patting the boy's back solicitously.

Yahiko choked out as he nodded vigorously, "Yeah...fine, Kenshin...thanks..."

Just then, Megumi's attention was diverted by Sano who was handing his bowl to Kaoru, who scowled and started to say, "Now, look her--" but at a cold glance from Sano, she stopped and croaked something unintelligible and hurried back into the house with the empty dish.

'Wait a sec... Sanosuke can be pretty thickheaded sometimes, but I've never known him to act so chauvinistically before... What in the heck is going _on_?' Megumi wondered again, growing more disturbed by the second. Well, hadn't this all started with Kaoru's strange outburst earlier? She would just go have a chat with her...

Megumi edged past Sanosuke who mentioned to no one in particular, "You know, the sky looks exceptionally blue today... Could it be... because I'm taller!" Once inside, Megumi located Kaoru in the kitchen.

"Hey, Raccoon..." she began and Kaoru whipped around with a startled expression on her features.

"Oh, er... Megumi, what's going on?" Kaoru ventured, a bit nervously.

"That's what _I_ want to know," Megumi stated flatly, placing a hand on her hip and giving Kaoru a no-nonsense glare.

"Oh, heheheh..." Kaoru began, "What makes you think anything is going on?" she questioned, with a bit too much innocence.

"Indeed," Megumi retorted. "First you, and now Sano... What in the world is happening?" She frowned and pursed her lips momentarily, than exclaimed, "It's almost as if you were possessed!"

"Wh-What!" Kaoru uttered in horror. "N-no, Megumi... You've got it all wrong, that's not the case at all... er... We're probably all having one of those bad-mood days, or something. You know how it gets sometimes with so many people living together." She rushed on uneasily, "One person gets annoyed and pretty soon, the rest are all in a bad mood, too."

"Humph," Megumi contradicted elaborately. "What are you hiding, raccoon?"

Just then, Sano, Yahiko and Kenshin entered the dojo kitchen, interrupting the intense conversation. Kaoru looked as if she were sagging with relief, thus increasing Megumi's suspicion even more... She was about to continue with her interrogation despite the entrance of the men, but someone grabbed her arm just then, causing her to have to turn about.

She gasped, realizing she was gazing up into a pair of golden eyes that she had most recently seen on Sanosuke... As he bent to kiss her, for that was exactly what he was going to do, Megumi could hear Kaoru protesting, "No, Battousai!" That was when she remembered where she'd seen those eyes before... On Kenshin Himura in the midst of one of his battles. And she knew why they caused such an eerie feeling when she looked into their depths: this was the personality of the Hitokiri Battousai...

Sano's lips closed on hers, and a voice said in her thoughts, 'Exactly... The most intelligent one I've possessed as of yet.' Sano broke away from her and stumbled backwards, looking bewildered and frightened, his eyes back to their usual deep, dark-brown...

'So, you're in _my_ mind now, are you?' Megumi answered the Battousai silently, but with steel.

'Oh, you're a fighter... Hmmm, strange how I never thought of you that way before this,' the Battousai returned.

'Why, might I ask, have you taken this little excursion out of poor Sir Ken's mind?' Megumi wondered, feeling deadly calm for some reason.

"Megumi," Kaoru asked worriedly, while rubbing Sano's arm soothingly while he shook and muttered to himself, 'Crazy... I'm going crazy... demons...evil, evil... I need a drink...a really _strong_ drink,' over and over again.

Kenshin and Yahiko were standing beside them, looking concerned and not a bit bewildered. Megumi answered, "I'm fine, Kaoru. I can deal with him," she added reassuringly, yet enigmatically for Kaoru's benefit alone.

Kaoru's mouth dropped open, and then she snapped it shut and nodded sharply once. 'Oh, you can _handle_ me, can you?' the Battousai taunted.

'That's right,' Megumi answered, matter-of-factly. 'Do you think I would be this self-assured if I couldn't?'

'Hmmm,' he said, sounding thoughtful, 'You do have a point. Well, there's only one way to find out, I suppose.' She got the impression that he was trying to decide something by the silence that stretched in her mind. Then he began again, 'Why don't you... kiss Kenshin, or something?'

'Eh?' Megumi returned, a bit baffled. 'Why in the world would I do that?'

Bewildered silence followed. 'Don't you like him? You're constantly teasing him about it, so I just figured...'

'Er, no, Sir Battousai, I don't. Teasing is all it is, to be completely honest.'

Irritated, the Manslayer replied, 'Well, than who _do_ you like?'

'Well, that's really none of your business, so I don't think I'll tell you.'

Now, she seemed to have angered the demon, because he retorted, 'Let's see if this works with _you_,' and she felt him trying to tamper with something vital in her brain.

'Hey, stop th--' she began to protest, knowing somehow that he was trying to access her private thoughts, but then he said in a strangely tight voice, 'First Kaoru's dratted stone barrier, and now _this_...!'

'What is it?' Megumi wondered in confusion, and seated herself next to Kaoru, who was relaxing on the floor and patting the distressed Sano's back as he sat next to her, rocking back and forth. Kaoru still looked tense and concerned, so Megumi spared a moment to smile at her, and the girl seemed to relax a bit. Kenshin was making tea, and Yahiko was helping by washing the bowls they'd used at supper.

'You're inner-most thoughts are like a maze... Gah! How do you even remember things with a mind like this?' the Battousai said with something bordering on horror. 'I can't even figure what you did last week from this convoluted mess!'

Megumi snorted, and Kaoru cast her a raised brow and a quirky half-smile as if she understood that Megumi was having a silent conversation with a disembodied spirit. She probably did...

'It should teach you not to try to understand a woman, Sir Battousai,' Megumi told him. He seemed to scowl at her darkly and then replied, 'Oh, you're no fun at all...' and suddenly he was gone.

"Huh?" Megumi exclaimed aloud, and Kaoru asked, stiffening a bit, "What happened?"

Megumi searched around in her brain and found, to her relief, that there was no feeling of the Battousai's "there-ness" any longer. "He left," she told Kaoru with a smile and a wink.

Kaoru blinked then glanced toward where Kenshin stood over his teapot. "Do you think he's back with you-know-who?" she wondered, still patting Sano's back as he mumbled away.

Megumi scooted forward and grasped each side of Sano's face, while telling Kaoru, "Don't know..." As Sano looked up at her, she snapped, "Sanosuke, you dummy, everything is fine now."

Sano uttered shakily, "N-no... I swear it was a demon. It tried to make me do things... God, it was awful..." he shuddered and seemed about to be retreating into his own little world again, so Megumi switched her hands to his broad shoulders and shook him the best she could.

"It's over, rooster head, and you're overreacting just like that time you went train-riding with Kaoru and the gang. You're such a baby. Even if Battousai had wanted to do anything to harm you, he couldn't have, Sanosuke." She added a bit more gently, "He was just playing games with you."

Sano blinked at her and asked shakily, "H-he was?"

"Yes," Megumi said firmly, and Sano sagged and was suddenly out. Kaoru yelped and asked, "Is he alright?" She grabbed for a pillow to put under the fighter's head as Megumi eased him down the rest of the way to the floor.

"Oh, I'm sure this will all seem like a bad dream once he wakes up again," she assured the raccoon.

"Well," Yahiko announced of a sudden, "I'm off to see Tsubame!"

Kaoru and Megumi glanced up at him, a little worried at his cheerfulness in the face of all the strangeness going on around him, and Kaoru yelped again and Megumi gasped at seeing the golden glow of Yahiko's eyes.

"Oh, no..." Kaoru moaned, "Not Yahiko..."

Yahiko-- no, the Battousai smiled evilly and waved. "Bye! Mustn't keep the lovely maiden waiting!" and ran off for the dojo door before anyone could stop him.

"Gracious," Megumi muttered. "Do you think he'll get the boy into any mischief?"

Kaoru swallowed hard and shrugged with feigned nonchalance. "I doubt it... I mean, all he wanted _me_ to do was cook a decent meal."

-----------------

"I know who you are," Yahiko blurted out to the entity that called itself "the Battousai" as soon as he was out of the dojo.

'Oh, do you now,' the smug voice replied.

'Look,' Yahiko thought back to it, 'I'm not deaf, blind, or stupid--I've noticed what's been going on around here today, and believe me, it's been pretty creepy and obvious.'

'Hmmm,' the Battousai said, sounding thoughtful, 'You surprise me. But anyway, you're not as smart as you think you are.'

"What?" Yahiko exclaimed aloud with bemusement.

'The while you were talking,' the Battousai answered in an amused-sounding tone, 'I was walking you over to the Akabeko.'

Yahiko started, looked around, and realized the Battousai wasn't joking. Not that he _would_ joke... er, anyway, he was standing in front of the restaurant where Tsubame worked, and he truly had no recollection of coming here, or even _intending_ to come here. At least not since the Battousai had suggested it to him and got him to leave the house...

'You tricky dragon...!' Yahiko exclaimed into his own mind.

The Battousai chuckled but said, 'That's not all I did--on the way over, I picked some flowers for the girl. Why don't you go in and give them to her?'

Yahiko looked down at his hands, disbelievingly, and saw to his astonishment that he did indeed carry a small bundle of yellow wild flowers in one hand. He blushed deeply and muttered dirty words under his breath. 'What are you, some kind of manslayer-matchmaker?'

'Hmm, that has a nice, alliterating ring to it, actually,' the Battousai answered with the slightest tease showing through his seriousness.

Yahiko sniffed disdainfully and made his way into the restaurant, sneaking back into the kitchen when he didn't see Tsubame around in the main room. He found Tsubame in the back, just about to come with a tray laden with plates of food. Something, probably the Battousai, took over, and Yahiko found himself tucking the pretty yellow wildflowers behind Tsubame's left ear.

She blinked at him, but he, or should he say the Battousai, didn't give her anytime to speak. "I like you, Tsubame," he said, smiling. "And I think you're pretty..."

The Battousai relinquished control and Yahiko found himself stranded, standing there blushing in front of a bewildered Tsubame. He swallowed hard, panicked, and blurted out quickly, "Well, see you later!" and departed as swiftly as his feet would carry him.

Once safely back on his way to the dojo, he yelled, "Why the heck did you do that?"

'What? I thought _you_ might like to get a few words in. Was I wrong?' the Battousai wondered, innocently. Too innocently.

'Jerk,' Yahiko snapped at him. 'And to think, I almost wanted to be like you... Well, like Kenshin... But I thought you weren't all that bad either 'cause you _are_ a part of him.' He paused, hoping he wasn't pushing it. This was _still _the dangerous manslayer of the Meiji Revolution, and you didn't want to rub that type of dangerous person the wrong way, even _if_ they no longer had a body... He continued, 'But now I see how strong Kenshin really must be not to give in to you...'

Yahiko realized something, and felt a little shaken by it, 'Wow, I didn't think I could respect someone more than I do Kenshin, but it looks like he was topped--by himself.'

The Battousai merely "hmphed", and Yahiko stopped because now he was standing in front of the dojo again, with no memory of coming there. But then, he was pretty used to walking to the Kamiya dojo, so he could probably chalk that up to familiarity with the route.

'It's been fun, little Yahiko,' the Battousai interrupted his contemplation, announcing, "But I've got to be going now." And just like that, the feeling of "Battousai" simply vanished. Yahiko blinked and ran inside, hoping to figure out whose mind he could have gone into, _now_, and found Kenshin blinking up at him in with a startled look. For a moment, his eyes flashed gold, and then a split second later, Kenshin smiled at Yahiko and took a sip of tea.

"Did you have fun?" he wondered of Yahiko, and Yahiko sighed, glad that the Battousai was in his rightful place again, before answering, "Yeah... Er, a little more fun than I'd like to have for awhile, but that's okay." He plopped down next to a slumbering Sanosuke, and sat thinking for a moment. So Kenshin had the Battousai back in his head... And Yahiko figured Kenshin was about the only person who could actually deal with him, and that made him a very strong man indeed.

---------------

'So,' Kenshin Himura wondered with the utmost irritation. 'Did you have fun making new friends today?'

The Battousai, who had returned to Kenshin very suddenly earlier that evening without explanation just before Yahiko came barreling into the dojo, said, 'Of course... These people you choose to live with are very strange and maladjusted.'

'Hmmm... As if _you_ have a right to call anyone else "maladjusted"...' Kenshin retorted. He gazed out into the darkened room, looking over his sleeping friends, like a wandering samurai guardian angel.

'I'm glad to be back in your head, I'll tell you that,' the Battousai said with relief.

Kenshin felt the need to snicker but restrained himself. 'So, you didn't have as much fun as you claim, it seems, that you didn't.'

'Oh, I had fun,' Battousai argued. 'Despite the run-ins with Kaoru and Megumi's strange minds.'

'Oro...?' Kenshin wondered, feeling as if he'd missed something.

'Never mind, Himura. But... to be completely honest, I sort of like these people, too.'

'Oh?' Kenshin wondered, surprised.

'Yes, they're all admirable in their own way... all fighters in spirit. You understand, Kenshin?'

Kenshin smiled gently into the darkness. 'Yes, now do you see why I can't ever do what you want?'

The Battousai laughed wryly. 'I wouldn't go as far as to say _that_...'

'Hmmm,' Kenshin replied. 'Or perhaps you just don't wish to admit it, that you do not.'

'Maybe...' The Battousai laughed again, this time mischievously. 'But you'll never know for sure, will you?' he taunted. Once again, to Kenshin's immense consternation, the Battousai had managed to get the last word.

The End.


End file.
